Character Folio

(Left to Right) Sandals, Drum, Chops, Spanner and Squid
The original Wretched Earth line-up at 1st level
Artwork - Emma Yam (mlynnz)



Talmir “Chops” Deathblow 11th Level Warlord
Chops is the de facto leader of the group for reasons that no one can clearly remember. His heroic exploits can turn the tide of a battle, but he is better known for his bigotry against halflings and gnomes. And elves. And the other lot of elves. And the lizard people.
Known as "Chops" due to his bright white teeth.
"Halflings are disgusting. They live in holes in the ground."



Jenny “Squid” Bryce 11th Level Rogue
Lethal chav with a short temper, poor social skills and an unhealthy appetite for celebrity. Squid is wanted in several states for crimes ranging from mass murder, sedition and desecrating holy artefacts to camel rustling, littering and vagrancy.
Squid gets her name from an incident as a teenager when she was arrested for stealing a calamari salad from M&S in Dog County.


Bayve "Crow" Morgan 11th Level Battlemind
Unusual woman (like her sister) who seems to use a variety of parlour tricks and stage hypnosis to her advantage in battles. Claims it's all to do with the power of the mind.
It is not known why Crow is so-called.


Ancillary Characters/NPCs

Fat Harold
Current NPC Mercenary Sorcerer. Unfit, unhygienic, uncouth and unpopular. But strangely seems to do well in the party.
"It's my glands,"


Foundling Morgan
Ex PC Warlock. Weird dusty woman that could teleport. Scary and enigmatic, but she couldn’t do a lot of damage. Crow’s half-sister.


Drum the Ranger
Ex PC Ranger. Despite being a ranger, couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a cricket bat. Blamed the arrows, the bow, the weather conditions, solar conditions – everything except his own ineptitude. Currently propping up the bar in Barry’s Place.
"It's these arrows I got conned into buying. They're cheap rubbish."


Jack Triceratops
Former NPC Mercenary Fighter. Tough as nails, and useful to have around. MIA somewhere in the Middle East.


Barry "The Fist" Deathblow
Chops's first cousin, famous adventurer and now restauranteur. Sole survivor of high-level dungeoneering party, although the M-U exists in Barry's Place as a petrified statue.
"Dungeoneering is yesterday's news. Today, it's all about goose liver parfait and a half decent Chilean Rioja, with a good location in Muswell Hill."


Errol Flynn
Former NPC Mercenary Rogue. Swashbuckling type. Good while he lasted, but low level meant that he was always on a hiding to nothing. KIA in the Far East.
"Mon dieu, and me without my sword!"


Lucky
Former NPC Mercenary Seeker. What the hell is a seeker? Wasted a lot of party healing trying to keep him alive. And he had a mullet. KIA in the Far East.
"Oh shit! There's arrows and lightning and claws and junk. People are dying! I thought I was signing up for a LARP group!"


Ned
The original low-level hanger on. First to die. Eaten by a Purple Worm in Rappan Athuk.
"So what level do all the groupies come into it?"


Sandals
Former PC Cleric. Eaten by a Purple Worm in Rappan Athuk.


Spanner
Former PC Wizard. Eaten by a Purple Worm in Rappan Athuk.


Toot
NPC Warlord. Antagonist early in the campaign. Chops’s rival.
"The best way to co-ordinate a combat is by using musical instruments"


Assorted NPC parties encountered:

The Rich Kids
The Drunken Vikings
The Lethal Line-Up
The Smelly Orcs
The Gnome Acrobats